June 18th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Sports   Comments Off on INDIA OUT OF WORLD CUP
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India is out of world cup T20 tournament 2009. I still don’t know what happened but India were cruising along smoothly at 48 for no loss against South Africa (who had made only 130 runs) when I slept hoping for sure that India would at least win this match and save their faces.  But the 8 AM news next morning told me that they had lost by 12 runs.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Someone out there had to tell Dhoni and company that they need to improve their game and not to be too complacent. Do you know what would have happened had India won this tournament? Had India won the T20 title, Lalit Modi would have announced eight IPLs in one year. What would have happened then? Utter chaos.

Our country’s economy would have been in shambles, worse than that of Pakistan. Attendances in offices would have diminished; production in factories would have stopped. Despite Chidambaram’s best efforts the GDP would have gone down and inflation increased.

All TV news channels would have shown matches and cricket news during prime time and would have had no time for Manmohan Singh and company.  Dawn to dusk the media would have become busy interviewing cricketers, their families and this time around – their pets also. One prominent TV channel anchor flew to Delhi and went to a hair dressing saloon and asked:-

“Did you cut the hair of this  tall gentleman who has just walked out?”… “Yes” was the reply.

“How long hair does he have?” asked the TV anchor. “Madam I just trimmed his hair and did not measure them” was the reply.

“Were they curly or were they straight”? “I don’t know Madam” replied the hair dresser.

“Look this is a matter of national importance and you have to tell me the truth because the world wants to know. The man who just walked out is Ishant Sharma”.

So the TV channels would have been overburdened and the news paper reporters more busy than before. Then there would have been this victory lap in an open truck from the President’s palace to Chandni Chowk. Imagine the police bandobast required for this 30 kms. walk?  Yes I agree victory is sweet . Also BCCI has saved 200 million which it would have gifted to the players, if India had won.

Lalit Modi would have been the person most benefitted. Apart from the TV rights allotted globally, the stadium tickets sales, the indoor hoardings, the car parking’s, the small stalls that sprout here and there outside the stadium during matches selling ice creams, cold drinks and beer etc., he would have floated global tenders for tournament hosting rights. All cricket loving countries would have gladly shelled out billions of dollars to host one of the eight IPL extravaganza in a year making BCCI richer.

Asif Zardari would have air dashed to Washington D.C. to take an urgent appointment with Barrack Obama and was obliged.

Obama – “Yes Sir what can I do for you?”
Zardari – “Can you set this fellow Lalit Modi right?”
Obama – “Why, what happened”.
Zardari – “He has not allotted the IPL T20 to Pakistan citing security reasons. Sir,you are aware we did our best in protecting Sri Lankan cricketers”.
Obama – “I cannot interfere with Lalit Modi, he has independent rights”.
Zardai – “OK then give me a billion dollars as loan for my country’s development which you can waive later”.
Obama- I am sorry, firstly it would be difficult for the Finance Committee to approve this and if pushed through, the Senate will not agree. Anyway, thanks for your kind visit.

 And we still don’t know why the seniors have been dropped from the South Africa tour
Ravi Matah

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No Responses to “INDIA OUT OF WORLD CUP”

  1. Travel Videos Says:

    India did not played upto their potential and Dhoni’s terrible captaincy just added upto the pressure. I think this suggests that their are no favourites in T20.

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