October 20th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy   Comments Off on WHERE DOES GOD LIVE?
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Whiskey - on the rocks

Whiskey - on the rocks

Indeed, I enjoy my drink just before dinner. My wife tells me not to drink but should I drink or not? I still don’t have the answer.

My doctor says a little bit in the evening is okay, but try to avoid it. OK, if I avoid drinking then what will happen to the thousands of people who  work in the orchards growing apples, oranges and those working in the vineyards taking care of grapes.

They all would be without a job and then how will they be able to place food on the table for their families. Poor things, it would be disaster for them if I stop drinking.

When I take my first one, my wife calls from the dining room ‘What are you doing – food is getting cold and I wont heat it up again’. She is fishing for an opportunity to scold me. Then, someone had very rightly said -‘Home is the place to go after the bar closes’.

When she says,  ‘stop drinking’ – ‘ I stop listening’ and quickly pour another one – just before she is able to repeat her warning.

When I read about the evils of drinking – the damage they cause to the liver and pancreas – I stop reading.

There are 24 hours in a day and  24 bottles in a carton – is that a sheer coincidence? Or is it any indication of what we should do every hour of the day

I should not be selfish about my liver etc. After all if I stop drinking, what will happen to those workers employed in the breweries? As it is thousands of people are being laid off in this time of recession. The drink makes us happy and implies that God wants us to be happy. If we are happy, we are healthy.

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all drink and go to heaven! “- said George Bernard Shaw.

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” said Lyndon B. Johnson.

Regular consumption of drinks kills the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and efficient machine. The resultant effect makes you stronger. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few drinks. Remember, the mouse shouted “Where is the blooming cat?”– only after a couple of drinks.

Then there was this poor fellow who went to Bombay from a small village to eek out a living. He stayed with a friend, a professional beggar. He suggested him to sit outside a temple, gurdwara or mosque and  start begging so that at the end of the day he should have sufficient money. He sat there from dawn to dusk but didn’t get alms.
bar-1Depressed and dejected he walked towards home and there was a ‘bar’ on the way from where two men walked out. He put his hand forward seeking help. ‘What do you want?’ One of them asked. ‘I am hungry, want money for food’, said the beggar. Promptly he took out a hundred rupee note from his pocket and gave it to the adjacent food stall owner directing him to feed the beggar, as much as he eats.

Ample evidence of magnanimity in a man after a drink.
‘Oh God, I was looking for you in the temple and gurudwara,  but didn’t know, you lived in a bar’, the beggar said loudly.


Ravi Matah

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No Responses to “WHERE DOES GOD LIVE?”

  1. andy Says:

    yes,it is really a question that we should discuss and research.

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