November 30th, 2011 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy, Political   Comments Off on TIHAR CORRECTIONAL CENTRE-cum-RESORT
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Tihar Jail was meant to house hardened criminals, thiefs, rapists, murderers, cheats and other gentlemen of similar caliber, and train them to become useful units of Society. But recent events in our country have brought eminent bureaucrats, leaders and corporate giants into Tihar Jail (or should I call it ‘Tihar Corrrectional Centre’) as M’me Kiran Bedi had aptly named it. 

The problems with the Tihar administrators have grown manifold. These new Five Star inmates have to be lodged in VIP Wing for which they were not fully prepared. To add to their woes, Tihar authorities were understaffed. They had to check and report what these inmates were doing on a day to day basis – for instance if Kalmadi was having tea with the Jail Superintendent then, this fact had to be reported to the Government as Government’s ‘further’ policies depended on these and other similar intel reports. 

An official there, who chose to remain anonymous, confessed that these VIP jail birds had very delicate feathers and had to be handled with utmost care, treated and fed well, and also kept at a safe distance from hardened criminals. And to compound their problems further, the administrators had to deal with a huge influx of VVIPs who were pouring in daily to meet these new ‘five star’ inmates. Due protocol had to be observed. No laxity in the ‘services’ permitted. 

Now with the 2G scam being blown out of proportions, the Tihar facility administrators do not know how many new blocks to be constructed for a separate VIP ward to accommodate those VIPs who are still in the queue to be sent to Tihar. It’s not the construction alone, these blocks will have to be furnished* properly and will have to be well equipped to provide facilities better than Five Star hotels. After all it is a question of taking proper care of our important ‘leaders’ and top officials. 

*These wards should have well furnished bedrooms, with attached baths, a visitor’s lounge, a living room, a colour TV – but no bar. The wards kitchen will have a multi-cuisine fare with hot and cold drinks, but as I have said, no bar.

That will save the authorities from dealing with drunken brawls, no throwing of microphones and furniture inside the Tihar as is their usual practice inside vidhan sabhas and similar venues. The provision of food and beverages can be outsourced to a Government run hotel. 

Then this new VIP facility inside Five Star Tihar should have a modern well equipped hospital also, as most of the leaders feign sickness as soon as they enter Tihar and are to be taken to AIIMS. Well equipped ICUs are also required as these elders start getting heart problems as these inmates have been deprived of spending their own hard-earned sack full of Dollars.

This medical facility would henceforth save the cost of security and transportation to AIIMS and other allied administrative difficulties.

The jail officials are also extremely scared that these new creed of jail birds may get bail quickly and may become Ministers again and come hard upon them with acts of vengeance. 

The biggest scare they have today is that their previous Boss, M’me Kiran Bedi, Director General of the Bureau of Police Research and Development, (who earlier held the post of Inspector General of Prisons) , may also be housed here on one pretext or another, as the Government is trying to rope her in, on charges of a DA case. M’me Kiren Bedi, an upright IPS officer had sought voluntary retirement from service and is now a Social Activist.


God only help Tihar Administration.


Ravi Matah.

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  1. Dr Ushy Mohan Das Says:

    Very well said Ravi!..Enjoyed reading the blog…Some facts i would like to share with you from the info I have gathered as I have also manged to put a few into Tihar!

    Mining baron Reddy, one of India’s richest politicians,is housed at the Chanchalguda Central Jail like an ordinary prisoner, sleeping on the floor with other undertrials, an official said Tuesday.The high-profile former Karnataka minister, who is said to fly in his helicopter from Bellary to Bangalore only to have breakfast, had to make do with rice, dal and vegetarian curry for dinner….So why can’t it be the same in Tihar?

    The “special treatment” prompted a trial court judge,Justice Pradeep Chaddah to pass an order directing jail authorities to treat them like ordinary prisoners.He was“surprised” by the “privilege” for a few!…So why only in Tihar?

    Seems surely like Tihar has become a vihar for the VVIP Criminals.It’s time to formulate a VVIP Indian Penal Code which has all the luxuries and facilities this category of prisoners deserve!

    Maybe even a Tihar Soliciting centre and Spa for the deprived!And some kaamsutra privilege!

    The ultimate day would be when we can in the near future shift our parl proceedings to Tihar Vihar!

  2. Ravi Matah Says:

    Thankyou Dr. UM Das for your contribution to the topic. Yes, Five Star Tihar should also have a Spa & Soliciting Centre as sugggested by you, but the best I like is the term ‘Tihar Vihar’ coined by you. See, I am learning !! Thanks.

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