WANTED – A PRIME MINISTER

May 8th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Political   7 Comments »
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There are mainly two national parties, too many regional parties, then the third and fourth front I  don’t know of and then recently in the news was the party of the comedians led by Jaspal Bhatti :) . This advertisement is being placed considering the fact that today there are too many aspirants to the post of Prime Minister.

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Applications are invited for the post of a Prime Minister in India, which is one of the largest democracies in the world.

Essential Qualifications: – Candidates should have working knowledge of Hindi and one language of the State in which they reside.  He or she should have  absolutely no knowledge of English language Their children may be studying in English school which is understandable  and this  should not be an embargo to his or her selection to the post.  

The applicants should be unscrupulous and should not be a teetollar and can obtain a license from the Health Minister’s department  to smoke in the office. Applicants will have to submit proof of their having their accounts in foreign banks which are safe tax havens. The applicant can be of either sex male or female. The applicant will have to submit a non-refundable deposit of Rs 100 crore in cash in currency notes of Rs. 1000/- denomination. Currency counting machines have been installed in the office.  Please note that  the facility to check genuineness of the currency notes is also available.  The applicant should have at least four to five grown up children to facilitate the heirarchial line of succession. Applications of persons without children will be outrightly rejected. .Aircrafts, helicopters and air-conditioned cars will be provided free of cost to candidates to facilitate them to reach out to the electorate for making false promises.

Desirable Qualifications: – Should have no knowledge of the problems faced by the country. He or she should be ready to fight with the neighbours.

Age – Should be between the age group of 35 to 70 years and should submit proper age proof (Janam Patris not accepted).
(Note – Age limit is relaxable by five years for upper caste applicants only).
Application forms  printed from Security Press can be obtained by post with in seven days from the address given below and submitted to the undersigned duly completed in all respects and should reach within fifteen days of the publication of this advertisement. The application should be accompanied with all attested testimonials and a certificate of ‘police record’ from the senior-most police officer of the State. The details of pending cases should also be given in detail.
 Executuve class airfare will be paid to selected candidates for attending the interview.   

CHIEF
BUREAU OF SELSECTORS
NEW DELHI

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7 Responses to “WANTED – A PRIME MINISTER”

  1. Parul Says:

    LOL!!! Too Funny!

  2. Simply Ridiculous Says:

    lol..
    And what about the salary?? Should be like this.. Expect exponential increase in income over 5 years!!

  3. Mukundund Says:

    Haha… Great post and very well written.. You got it all right… as for the salary I think there is no upper limit to it.. You will get paid if you work and you will be paid even more if you don’t work…

  4. sm Says:

    good post,like it.

  5. Shalini Nambiar Says:

    Excellent post……I wish I could apply but the Qualifications are a bit difficult …..Really enjoyed reading it …Innovative and very true ….

  6. Purti Kathpalia Says:

    Well…id almost drafted my resignation letter until i read the “age” eligibilty…years to go..oh damn il have to keep workin for another 12 years :(
    Il have to wait for “No work all money”!!
    Uv put it v right n in a v interesting way!!
    Jai Hind…
    cheers to the years of democracy

  7. raj kanwar Says:

    Though I meet most of the prescribed qualifications,it is a pity that my late revered father had put me in an English medium school.And then committed the cardinal mistake of admitting my own children in St.Joseph’s Academy,and later sending them abroad for higher education.
    If the Selection committee could overlook my fluency in the English language ,I promise that I would ,in my manifesto,promise to introduce the abolition of all the English medium schools in the country. The aam aadmi must be kept miles away from modern education ;it is only in their ignorance that we the politicians will flourish and
    prosper.
    Further, I will take onlt one rupee as my monthly salary,and will also not take any perks.

    Raj Kanwar

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