Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

TIHAR CORRECTIONAL CENTRE-cum-RESORT

November 30th, 2011 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy, Political   2 Comments »

  

Tihar Jail was meant to house hardened criminals, thiefs, rapists, murderers, cheats and other gentlemen of similar caliber, and train them to become useful units of Society. But recent events in our country have brought eminent bureaucrats, leaders and corporate giants into Tihar Jail (or should I call it ‘Tihar Corrrectional Centre’) as M’me Kiran Bedi had aptly named it. 

The problems with the Tihar administrators have grown manifold. These new Five Star inmates have to be lodged in VIP Wing for which they were not fully prepared. To add to their woes, Tihar authorities were understaffed. They had to check and report what these inmates were doing on a day to day basis – for instance if Kalmadi was having tea with the Jail Superintendent then, this fact had to be reported to the Government as Government’s ‘further’ policies depended on these and other similar intel reports. (more…)

…..GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO!

October 23rd, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy   No Comments »

I  woke up at 0545 am, picked up my spectacles from the side-board and went to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I had my palms full of water to splash it on my face when the call bell rang. What the hell – so early in the morning. Who could it be? The paper or the milk-man? I quickly splashed water on my face and couldn’t find the hand towel.

I was then half awake-half asleep, slightly irritated, I had splashed water on my face, with my spectacles on, and couldn’t see anything – but had to attend the door bell, asap. (more…)

WHERE DOES GOD LIVE?

October 20th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy   1 Comment »
Whiskey - on the rocks

Whiskey - on the rocks

Indeed, I enjoy my drink just before dinner. My wife tells me not to drink but should I drink or not? I still don’t have the answer.

My doctor says a little bit in the evening is okay, but try to avoid it. OK, if I avoid drinking then what will happen to the thousands of people who  work in the orchards growing apples, oranges and those working in the vineyards taking care of grapes.

They all would be without a job and then how will they be able to place food on the table for their families. Poor things, it would be disaster for them if I stop drinking. (more…)

MESSAGE ON A T-SHIRT

October 7th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy   No Comments »

When I was in school, I used to wear blue shorts and red shirt in the evening to play football and ‘whites’ for cricket practice with a monogram of the school (‘SJA’) on the pocket.  This dress was  then called ‘colours’. I loved to wear tee-shirts also, in the evenings and the only choice for boys  then was blue, cream and grey and no A B C D printed on it.

Thereafter, went  to college and wore tee-shirts as there was no specific dress code. At the time, cricket was played in white clothes, until Kerry Packer of Channel 9 Australia, innovated coloured trousers and changed the white to a coloured tee-shirt with the country’s name in front and player’s name and  number on it’s back. And rightfully so, TENdulkar got the number ‘ten’ on his tee-shirt. So, the digits and words arrived on  tee-shirts. (more…)

THE IDIOT BOX

July 27th, 2009 by Ravi Matah | Posted in Comedy   No Comments »

Every manufacturer gets a catchy ad made to advertise his product and sends it to the various TV channels as this is the better way to send the message to  every household.

The  TV channels churn out one pathetic story after another full of quarrels with no respite to the viewer. There is a total vaccum,  so far as good educative programmes or comedy programmes are concerned. When will they make the viewer laugh?

People watching their favorite programmes or news,  view these ads during every break.- “Gori in fifteen days, use this cream” – “Grow hair in a month, use this oil”, – “Stay young forever, use this German technology cream” -‘Keep your hair long and strong” use this oil. –   “Use this deo to catch girls”.  Are all  the viewers idiots? (more…)